Originally posted 22 October 2020
As some of you may know, I’ve been going through a rough patch lately. My pain has escalated and spread, and I’ve hit some all time lows. About 6 weeks ago I was thinking about suicide. I went to my GP this week to see if he had any ideas about what I could do about it – like something that I could take in emergencies when the pain got really out of control – and he was at a bit of a loss, given everything I’ve tried and given up on already.
So he referred me back to my pain specialist, who discharged me 2 years ago. The pain specialist has sent a note back to my GP declining to see me again because he’s already tried everything with me and it either didn’t work, or I didn’t want to take it. Which is basically what he said when he discharged me.
I’m frustrated by this because there are other things to try – I specifically wanted to see if he would prescribe Ketamine cream, or even an infusion. But it seems like he has a list of things he’s willing to try and he’s exhausted them all. His only suggestion was that I do “the usual blood screening tests” and see a neurologist to check for peripheral neuropathy or small fiber neuropathy. Which I will now go and google. Ugh! So aggravating!
Aggravating is not the word
This is the second time that I was completely desperate, searching for anything that would help me to cope with the pain. And this specialist just said that he had tried all the drugs that he was willing to prescribe and that was it.
Most of the medication that works on CRPS has awful side effects. I am unfortunately extremely sensitive to medication. I take the tiniest doses and have the worst side effects. It wasn’t that I didn’t try the stuff he prescribed. I did try everything. One of the medications caused scarring all over my legs, another one had me literally wanting to throw myself into oncoming traffic. And one made me so slow and foggy that I couldn’t cope at work.
I didn’t even get an opportunity to argue my case. The receptionist called me to tell me, and was clearly very uncomfortable. This whole situation still makes me incredibly angry.